searching for a church

Throughout my search for a church, I have gleaned important lessons. Because life-long learning is one of my core values, it gives me joy to learn something new or to confirm principles I’ve known for decades.

So what have I learned?

The Community of Believers Thrives

Throughout this year, I have met so many wonderful believers. Pastors have rearranged their schedules to talk with me. Gracious and vulnerable, they let me pray for them and asked how they could serve me. I have been humbled, awed and thankful for these men and women who love the same Lord I love.

Within these communities, I have snacked on a variety of goodies, experienced a women’s Christmas tea and tried numerous versions of the same coffee brand. Eleos seems to be the favorite. However, I believe my choice of a church is solid even if they have no snacks and no coffee bar.

The variety of music has provided a soothing balm for my pilgrim soul. Although I love the old hymns and enjoy a rousing classical version of the “Hallelujah Chorus” – I have found so many wonderful worship teams, praising God with joy. Do they know how important they are, lifting the spirits of saints who need the comfort of lyrics and chord progressions?

We Share Common Struggles

Churches are living organisms, peopled by fallible human beings. The world we live in makes it easy to ignore God and focus on ourselves. Yet so many believers are trying mightily to be the persons God created them to be.

And in every church where I have talked with the leaders, they’re not quite sure what to do with me. My particular demographic is a puzzle. Most churches aren’t set up to serve single moms or know how to deal with the growing numbers of divorced people and their children. This is one reason why 67 percent of single moms leave the church and never return.

But I am encouraged that leaders are willing to at least open the conversation. They’re hoping to try new programs, discuss new resources and consider how to be vulnerable even within traditional guidelines.

Sunday is the loneliest day of the week, and in my visits I have seen many women who worship alone – sitting by themselves, their heads bowed even as I peek at their solitude. I imagine they pray the same words I pray, “Will someone, anyone, Lord, talk to me or come and sit with me or invite me to lunch or even acknowledge I am here?” Can we do better? I believe so.

Church is Important to Me

Although I took a sabbatical from church to soothe some of the hurts, I always knew I would return. I just didn’t know where. It is important to belong within a body of believers, to find how my little digit somehow fits into the kingdom work of a particular group where my gifts are respected and utilized.

In searching for church, I have been encouraged by my own faith and by the principles my soul believes so strongly that I will hunt for them week by week. I stepped forward, fell back and began again.

Because belonging to a church body is part of who I am. Because church sanctifies my core beliefs and helps me grow. Because the people in my church become family. Because I am a believer, and church is what we do.

God Cares About Where I Go

Throughout this journey, I have prayed every Saturday night, “Show me, please, Abba Father. Make it clear. I want to be where you lead me.”

And God came through. When I visited the church where Jesus was absent, the Spirit in me cried out in melancholy loss. When I attended a church with my son and his girlfriend, God told me it would be only “for a while.” The following would result in leaving.

And when I came to a crossroads which almost exhausted my list of possibilities, it was within that scary moment the divine whisper directed me to the final answer.

As God so often does with me, he confirmed it in a unique way – this time in a dream. I was at an amusement park, already buckled into the metal car of the roller coaster. Just as it was about to begin its cranking ascent, the divine voice urged, “Get off the roller coaster.” So I unbuckled and left the amusement park.

When I woke up and journaled through the dream, I saw the confirmation. My search had led me to highs and lows, to spiritual discovery through the valley of grief, to stops and starts. The roller coaster search needed to come to an end, and I had to make the decision to unbuckle and walk confidently in a new direction.

So I learned a great deal, and I am grateful for the learning which involved more than a year of prayer, visits, leavings and yearnings.

I am finally off the roller coaster, stepping carefully because belonging precipitates the possibility of another hurt and my heart does not want to risk it. But for now, I have found a home and I believe God is smiling as together, we walk through the door.

During my visit to another church, the pastor gave a sermon titled, “Following Implies Leaving.”

When Peter followed Jesus, he left his nets and the fish flopping around in them. When American missionaries follow the call to serve in a foreign land, they leave the U.S. and their families. When we follow God’s leading for new jobs, we leave our current positions.

Although following God often involves leaving our comfort zones and the safe ruts we have created, in the leaving and the following we find direction, guidance and sometimes – a new life.

I wrote nonfiction articles and books for years. It was easy for me to complete research, create an outline and fill in the blanks with sentences and paragraphs.

Then one day, God planted Reverend G in my mind, and I started writing her story. To follow the Spirit’s direction, I had to leave my place of contented writing, recording facts and personal experiences.

Was it easy to leave? Definitely not.

I had to study fiction techniques, step out in risk to sell the book and re-invent myself as a novelist. It was not easy, but in the process, I discovered something fascinating.

Although I had to leave my comfort zone, the result of following the divine whisper was a trilogy about this gutsy minister, Reverend G. And I found a new passion, the heartbeat of story.

Fiction surprised me. As I dug into it and learned more, I listened to my characters speak and direct the process. I started having fun.

Now, I am nurturing several ideas for other novels even while I continue to work on another nonfiction book. My foray into fiction merges into nonfiction so that even facts, research and personal experience become a fascinating study of the craft.

When we follow God’s leading, don’t we often end up in a better place? Although it may in some respects be harder, it is still better.

Peter followed Christ. It was hard. He failed often and struggled to learn how to accept this radical Jesus.

But Peter ended up as the leader of the Jerusalem church, thrust into the role of speaker, shoving aside his fear and his guilt of denying Christ. Eventually, Peter marched into martyrdom and eternity with his beloved Lord.

I believe as I leave one church and follow the Spirit toward another, God has something better in mind.

Will it be hard?

It already is hard – and lonely. Yet I am determined to follow.

I believe that wherever I land, it will be a better place for me to serve, to use my giftings and to glorify God as I worship with other followers.

Following implies leaving, but even in the leaving, we discover hope.

RJThesman.net

Author | Coach | Speaker | Editor

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