During Christmas break, I sit in Mom’s house, a mile away from where she now lives in assisted living, an experience away from her new existence within the world of Alzheimer’s.
Shadows play against the wall. Sunset in Oklahoma still wins as my favorite part of the day.
I once climbed my special tree on the family farm, perched alone with my journal in one of my favorite spots, a nest of branches and limbs that held me safely as I watched the turquoise sky that framed the wheat field turn into a frame of orange and red.
Now within Mom’s house, I worship the creator of a new sunset as it changes a taupe wall to a natural painting of shadow on light.
The shadows grow deeper for Mom within her Alzheimer’s world even as they lengthen for my siblings and I. We observe Mom’s confusion and recognize more signs of the coming stages.
Our mother disappears into Alzheimer’s land. Our world changes once again as memory fades and communication alters.
Another 24 hours is spent, and I wonder about my own life, my own calendar of events. How should I live in this new year so that each sunset brings with it a contentment that I lived this day well, that I finished my course with joy and purpose?
How can I live so that when my own shadows lengthen and deepen, the light I have shared will be what is remembered – my legacy to the world for my God?
None of us is certain of our timelines. We can only attempt to do our best, to live and love and work with pride, to complete the tasks before us and honor the One who gives us the energy to work, to live and love.
We can only commit to a stronger and higher calling so that when the sunset comes, we will rejoice in the light that dances at the end of the day.
©2013 RJ Thesman – “The Unraveling of Reverend G” – http://amzn.to/11QATC1
I had the privilege of having more than one special tree. Those memories give us a stable place. How unsettling therefore to lose the memory.
I still wish I could sit in my tree. Last year, a storm destroyed it. Every time I visit the farm, I miss it.
This was such a beautifully written piece. You raised key questions for each of us to ponder this year–before our shadows lengthen.
Thank you, Charlotte. Yes, we each need to consider how we can finish well.