Asking the Hard Questions

He was young and bright — this college student who wanted to pursue creative writing. We met at a local coffee shop, two creatives sharing a gift, though decades apart in age. The hazelnut blend he drank mellowed the atmosphere while I played with the tail end of my English Breakfast tea bag.

multiple questions marks, a variety of colors on white background

He took copious notes of statements I have made hundreds of times with coaching clients:

  • Writing breeds more writing skill, so write every day.
  • Submit a manuscript to a magazine each week to build your writing resume.
  • Frontload the week. Plan your more creative work on Mondays and Tuesdays when you’re fresh.
  • Be consistent with marketing. Whatever platform you use — consistency is the key.
  • Get involved with a writers’ group. Join a critique group and/or find a writing partner.

Then my pitch, “Hire a writing coach to help you be accountable. I currently have openings.”

I had asked him to bring some of his work, so he pulled out a well-worn journal. I knew by the way he touched it, dared to hand it to me — these were words dear to his heart. He was trusting me with his very soul.

He seemed surprised when I praised him for the way he used conflict, the turn of a phrase that did not include a cliché, a-ha moments unique to his voice. Like all of us, he needed encouragement and a slight push forward to realize the beginning of his writing dreams.

“I don’t mean to offend you,” he said with a polite nod, “but I know my writing asks lots of questions. I know you’re a Christian, so I hope that’s okay . . . you know . . . that I ask the hard questions.”

For a moment, I wavered between needing to cry and wanting to scream. What have we done to these younger generations? How did they get the idea that we know all the answers? That it is wrong to ask questions about faith and life?

“I ask questions, too,” I said and watched him visibly relax. “I used to be a black and white Christian where I thought I knew all the answers, and they had to be just one way. Because I had been force-fed what I SHOULD believe. Then life happened and those answers weren’t enough.”

I described some of my difficult experiences and how God had been patient as I worked through them. How God is not afraid to listen to us. To hear our screams. I reminded him that some of the greatest saints asked hard questions. King David. Moses. Peter.

Even while he was being tortured, Jesus asked, “Why?”

How sad that Christendom has thrust itself past these seeking and questioning young adults! They see us with placards on the evening news, going way beyond the freedom of speech into the bully pulpit of the streets. They read about how we label and exclude their friends who have chosen an alternative lifestyle. They grieve as we condemn them for daring to think and act differently.

They cannot hear the truth about God because we are busy screaming at them to perform righteously. We expect them to live by our rules before they ever meet the One who loves them despite the rules.

Legalism was never the brand of Jesus.

No wonder that these beautiful youngers cannot find their way to the God of love when we, his beloved children, push them away. Our self-righteousness denies their questions, the very source of how they seek truth.

The German poet, Rainer Maria Rilke, wrote, “Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them.”

To live the answers of life, we must first ask the hard questions. And to accept others with the love of Christ, we must allow them to ask those same difficult questions.

When we stop asking questions, we putrefy in the sewage of our own belief systems. Then we program others to believe the same so that we will feel safe within our acceptable righteousness. Only when we step out of our comfortable zones can we seek deeper meaning for our faith. That is when we discover how broad and wide and deep and high is the grace and love of God.

This young man — God love him — is seeking a place for his creative mind to grow. He is also seeking to be accepted as he is. Not programmed into a hard wooden pew where his soul will stagnate. I so hope he finds his way to the truth.

©2024 RJ Thesman – All Rights Reserved

Image Attribution: Geralt / Pixabay

Check out my newest release, Embracing Life with Hope: Daily Encouragement for Your Spiritual Journey.

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