Dear Mom, This Sunday is Mother’s Day, and I sent you a card. Hopefully, you will understand the words and remember who I am from my signature on the bottom. I wish I could be there with you, but since I can’t – please know that I love you and celebrate Mother’s Day with you. … Continue reading
LipReading Mom, aka Shanna Groves, was diagnosed with progressive hearing loss after the birth of her first child. She was 27. Since then, she and her husband have added two more children who provide creative fodder for her writing. Her books include “Lip Reader” and the just-released “Confessions of a Lip Reading Mom.” Through her … Continue reading
Throughout this series about the LDC, I often alluded to the importance of prayer. My personal intercessory team lifts me up in prayer before every trip to Oklahoma. My siblings know people in their churches, their cell groups and their networks who pray for them. Certainly, we all pray for Mom. I pray that she … Continue reading
Living with Alzheimers and/or dementia causes a host of emotions—especially for caregivers. Mom’s emotions aren’t that difficult. She lives in a contented land where all she has to worry about is where she put her teeth during the night and can she find her underwear the next day. Even then, somebody helps her with those … Continue reading
Because I am the Long Distance Caregiver in our family, I see Mom only on major holidays or when I manage a few days of extra vacation. The hard part is that I rarely see my family and miss them all the time. Yet the positive aspect is that I easily observe the changes in … Continue reading
Since I am an author, I’m constantly looking into how research builds hope. Plus, “The Unraveling of Reverend G” and the rest of the books in my series deal with Alzheimers and dementia. So research is a must. I find it easy and enjoyable to do research. I study everything I can find about caregiving, … Continue reading
As our loved ones journey through Alzheimers and/or dementia, it’s important that we keep in regular contact with the rest of the family. Even though we live hundreds of miles away, we still have a significant role to play. I call my sister each week and my brother about every other week. My sister is … Continue reading
A friend recently encouraged me to define my role as a long-distance caregiver. How would a defined role help me deal with my guilt and anxiety whenever I drive away from Mom? But the more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea. Define my role and maybe even give myself a job … Continue reading
Roxie, the stressed-out activities director at Cove Creek Assisted Living, wonders how to address a challenge in her life. She asks the only person she can really trust, one of her beloved residents – Reverend G. Reverend G was on her third trip around the hallways of Cove Creek, as she walked in her turquoise … Continue reading
A pocket of time separates Good Friday and Easter Sunday – a day we often ignore because we don’t celebrate that day – we just wait. We live through Saturday, anticipating Sunday. After the execution of Jesus, the disciples – both men and women – huddled together in fear. At least one of them, Peter, … Continue reading
My personal tradition calls for a visit to the cemetery during Easter weekend. Somehow, the credibility of the resurrection needs to meet with the mortality of my ancestors. It is a Mennonite cemetery, on the same acre of land as the old hand-built church, crafted by men who wore beards and black hats. Many of … Continue reading
She accidentally became a nurse. Her life’s ambition and the prophecy from her high school yearbook stated that she would someday become a famous writer, weaving thousands of words into paragraphs and books. But World War II interrupted everyone’s plans, so she signed up to become an army nurse. The only way she could afford … Continue reading
We’re at the conclusion of our series on the lessons that Alzheimer’s Disease can teach us. A review includes: patience, each day counts, make positive memories and strongholds endure. Finally, we come to Part 5. Eternity Matters. We tend to live so intensely in the present, in our busy lives on earth that we sometimes … Continue reading
We know that Alzheimer’s Disease can teach us several things: patience, the importance of each day and how we should make memories while we can. But another, rather negative lesson also surfaces. Strongholds endure. A stronghold is any type of behavior or attitude that has a strong hold on us. Sometimes, it is the result … Continue reading
Part 1 of this series encouraged us to be patient. Part 2 reminded us that each day counts. What is another lesson that Alzheimer’s Disease can teach us? Make Positive Memories. When our memories begin to deteriorate, we’ll want our children and other family members to remember good times we’ve shared together. Life is so … Continue reading
In the first post of this series, we considered how Alzheimer’s Disease teaches us about patience. Another lesson to learn is one we may know, but don’t always keep in the forefront of our minds. Each Day Counts. Although most of us aspire to the philosophy of carpe diem, do we really live every 24 … Continue reading
As a Christian, I try to focus on the positives in life – those creative surprises that God brings out of any situation. He promises that he can bring something good out of our struggles. We look for the good. We trust that He knows a better way. Truthfully, a belief in the positives has … Continue reading
Every towel in Mom’s house was worn thin and bleached out. Drying off after a shower felt like rubbing sandpaper all over my body – great for exfoliation, not so great for comfort. So I decided to update my mother’s towels. I bought Mom a beautiful set of pastel blue towels, embroidered with a band … Continue reading
I welcome author Shanna Groves as a guest blogger for this post. Check out Shanna’s own blog at LipreadingMom.com One of the things I love about Rebecca is her steadfast faith. As we shared a table at a coffee shop and discussed her editing my first book four years ago, Rebecca offered a fundamental truth … Continue reading
As a published author, one of my duties includes marketing and promoting my book. I do this through social media, through speaking events and through this blog. I also work hard to find new outlets for my book and use every tool imaginable to market the words I write. Sometimes it seems as if I’m … Continue reading
Whether it’s unemployment, Alzheimer’s or a personal tragedy – all of us face moments when life unravels. When our carefully controlled spheres no longer make sense and nothing we do can change the circumstances. How do we deal with life when it unravels? Psalm 43 gives us three action points. Focus on God; not the … Continue reading
Readers sometimes ask me, “Where do you find your characters?” Usually, that’s easy. I find them in coffee shops, in airports, on college campuses – and I sometimes wake up with a character who invaded my dreams. But one particular character lives with me and doesn’t mind that I used her as a major part … Continue reading
After an unexpected trip to the emergency room, we returned home, weary but grateful. “I’m glad you’re okay, Mom,” my son said as he hurried off to work. “Me, too. Thanks for helping me.” The symptoms of GERD often mirror the symptoms of a heart attack, so my doctor has told me, “Always get it … Continue reading
“Wear your walkin’ shoes,” Chris spoke over the phone line. “I’ll be there in about 15.” How was I so lucky to have a friend like Chris who recently graduated into a boyfriend? Was it appropriate to call a man in his early sixties a “boy”friend? I suppose I wasn’t a “girl”friend either, with my … Continue reading
In the last post, we investigated five ways to stall creativity. Those included: lack of sleep, stress, wrong direction, fear and guilt. If you’d like to read my ideas about stalled creativity, check out the post at: http://www.rjthesman.net. So what do writers do if creativity stalls? Don’t Panic. Keep breathing and keep your writing schedule. … Continue reading
When the words flow, our creative juices whet the appetite for more. Writing becomes enjoyable work. But when we have to fight ourselves to keep in the chair and force our fingers to keep typing – then we wonder why in the world we ever chose to do this mammoth task. Most of the time, … Continue reading
It’s just the sweetest thing. A lady in my Sunday School class has a difficult time these days. She struggles from the side affects of a brain cyst. Although she has lived a full life and raised children, worked outside the home and managed the household – she now struggles to deal with the basic … Continue reading
Most writers do the work because we can’t help ourselves. We can’t NOT write. And when the words morph into sentences, then paragraphs and chapters – we feel an adrenaline rush that keeps us coming back to the computer for more. We want our words to carry a message, and we long for readers to … Continue reading
Anyone who knows me well understands why it is important for me to face the western sky at the end of the day. I thrive on the colors and textures of sunsets. One of the first things I want to do when I get to heaven is watch how God paints a different sunset every … Continue reading
Since Mom moved to the assisted living facility, I travel to Oklahoma more often than before. Each time, it’s an adventure in praying for the car to make it, treating myself to a hot chai and hoping that gas prices don’t go up again. But each time, it’s also an opportunity to worship God for … Continue reading
At a writers’ conference I recently attended, another writer asked, “Why should I be a freelancer? The return on my investment is terrible. I work hard and make no money. Is it worth it?” If you look just at the ROI, the answer is, “No. It isn’t worth the sacrifice, the time or the struggle.” … Continue reading
Many writers have a special good luck charm that they keep in their offices or wear on their persons – anything to remind themselves to sit down and be a writer. One greeting card writer wraps a winter scarf around his neck – even in the middle of July – to remind himself of the … Continue reading
We are answering a reader’s question, “When did Reverend G’s relationship with God begin and how did she grow so close to Him?” This post is the continuation of the back story. When Gertie returned home, she tried to explain to her parents about her decision to become a Christian. But all they wanted to … Continue reading
In an online interview, one of my readers asked, “When did Reverend G’s relationship with God begin and how did she grow so close to Him?” Reverend G (aka Gertrude Davis) grew up in a non-Christian home. Her parents believed that everyone should make his or her own decision about faith, which excluded church as … Continue reading
Today I welcome guest blogger Karen Morerod to my site. Karen has her own blog at http://www.karenmorerod.wordpress.com where she writes about faith 24/7. Unraveling. What’s falling apart in your life right now? Is it coming apart thread by thread? Or is it more like a quick, fast rip that’s left a huge hole? Maybe it … Continue reading
Throughout the years, I have received many beautiful Christmas cards. So…what to do with them after Christmas? Just pitch them while cleaning up all the decorations and torn wrappings? No way. Sometimes I frame cards. One framed card hangs in my office – a reminder to stay in JOY all through the year. Another one … Continue reading
Some of my readers have wondered what Reverend G does for Christmas. So I asked her, and she said: “Christmas has always been one of my favorite holidays, and even with my Alzheimer’s I remember so many past memories. My beloved Jacob in his Lone Ranger pajamas, tearing into his presents and so excited to … Continue reading
I didn’t get the tree, even though I prayed hard and believed it would be mine. Several years ago, I participated in one of those home tours where beautiful and historic houses are decorated by members of the Junior Service League as a fund-raising activity. One of the houses sent me into covet mode. From … Continue reading
In a post last summer – http://rjthesman.net/2012/06/22/the-qlb-in-taos/ – I talked about the quaint little bookstore in Taos, “Moby Dickens.” Don’t you just love that name? This wonderful bookstore with a Southwest flair sports hundreds of shelves filled with all types of books. Here in the heartland, we have several QLBs that I would like to … Continue reading
We met again because one of my book signings happened to be close to where both of them live. The last time all three of us were together, my son was in the first grade. Twenty-some years have passed, quickly and unbelievably. Yet there they were, supporting me at a book signing and smiling for … Continue reading
We used to chat for at least 30 minutes about recipes, her grandson or my latest writing project. She asked me about life in Kansas, and I listened to her descriptions of life in Oklahoma. We discussed the weather because it affected the various crops, and she knew the farm life still flowed through my … Continue reading
Several readers have commented, “I really like how Reverend G prays. She just talks to God, like a regular conversation.” This comment encourages me, but also saddens me. Have we missed teaching about prayer in our churches and cell groups? Do people not know that prayer really is just talking and listening to God? Or … Continue reading
In my latest research, I’ve discovered several health professionals who suggest that the best food plan to prevent Alzheimer’s is the Mediterranean Diet. What does this diet include? Olive oil Nuts Fish Poultry Fruits Vegetables Basically, the idea is to eat real food, the food that God created – not the junk that man has … Continue reading
As my siblings and I checked out the room in assisted living, we talked about the various pieces of furniture that best fit the space. We wanted to bring Mom’s furniture and accessories that would help her feel most comfortable in her new surroundings. Family pictures—of course, artfully displayed on the corner cabinet that belonged … Continue reading
All my life, Mom made my birthday special. One year, she made the most decadent gooey chocolate cake I’ve ever tasted. I walked into the house after a long basketball practice, plopped into my chair at the kitchen table and eagerly sliced a piece of that wonderful cake. It tasted like love. During my first … Continue reading
Use the Life Story. Each of us has a life story and while we’re living it, we often don’t realize how important it is. The life story defines us, leaves a legacy and tells our loved ones who we were and how we dealt with each day and each situation. For caregivers, the life story … Continue reading
A TV pastor recently said, “White lies don’t exist. A lie is a lie, and deception is always wrong. Tell the whole truth.” While I understood what he was trying to teach, I wondered—does he have any loved ones with Alzheimer’s? One of the struggles my siblings and I now face is that we sometimes … Continue reading
Forgive Me. Several times throughout the book, Reverend G tells her son, “Please forgive me.” As I wrote “The Unraveling of Reverend G” and researched more about this horrid disease, I told my son, “If I get dementia or Alzheimer’s and act weird, I apologize already. Please forgive me. I didn’t want this to happen.” … Continue reading
During a recent hospital stay, my mother needed extra supervision. So, to give my sister a break from the constant strain of caregiving, I opted to stay with Mom in the hospital. One morning, Mom seemed especially agitated so I asked her, “What’s your favorite Psalm?” “Oh, probably 23,” she said. In my purse, I … Continue reading
Healthcare professionals emphasize the importance of caregivers taking care of themselves. Reverend G would agree. We can’t sit beside the bed day after day without a respite. We’ll go crazy. We need to take a break. We need to utilize the daycare centers for Alzheimer’s patients and share our struggles with support groups. We may … Continue reading
