Oh, God – I’m so afraid.
During the sixth month of pregnancy, I finally ventured out of the bed where I spent the first five months – hoping, begging God to let me keep my baby. With years of infertility and two miscarriages in my medical chart – the chances for a normal birth were slim.
In June of that year, I waddled out to the back yard’s sunshine and stretched out in the chaise lounge. With my hand over my extended belly, I prayed again for the child within.
Protect him, please. Keep him healthy. I want to hold him. I need you to encourage me, God. Help me. I’m afraid.
When I opened my eyes, a large monarch butterfly floated out of the clouds and landed on my belly. Hardly daring to breathe, I watched as his wings opened and closed in a foreshadow of blessing.
As the baby moved, I wondered if the monarch might be disturbed and fly away. But he rode the wave, stayed in position and kept his gaze on my face.
For over an hour, we baked in the sun, ingested the natural vitamin D and shared in worship moments.
Then the monarch carefully lifted off, floated around me a couple of times, drank deeply from my colorful zinnia garden and disappeared into the clouds.
When I returned to the house and journaled about my experience, I felt encouraged, renewed and ready to face whatever happened in the next few months.
God often uses his creation to encourage, uplift and remind me that he is indeed greater than my problem. Since he is the one who manipulates cellular metabolism, hangs the stars in his front yard and whispers, “Peace be still” in the middle of storms – then he can certainly deal with my everyday stresses.
I wonder how many scenarios he manages and shows up to help us when we aren’t alert enough to look for him. Perhaps in heaven, we’ll watch a giant video screen and see his image beside our sick child, walking down the aisle with us as we graduate or smiling as we choose our first car.
Like the monarch’s appearance, he is with us – longing to soothe our fears and direct us toward the best path for our lives.
Because of my experience with the monarch, I nurture my butterfly bush and let the red clover grow around the perimeter of my yard. These plants attract monarchs every year and continue to remind me God is near.
And what of the precious child I carried that summer day? He is now 30 years old, a healthy and sensitive man who makes me proud every day to be called his mom.
Hope wins. We just have to keep watching for the finish line.
©2016 RJ Thesman – Author of the Reverend G books http://amzn.to/1rXlCyh
Can’t wait to read this one. I think you are one of my “earth angels”. P
Thank you – hope it brings you encouragement.
I can identify with some of your journey through miscarriage. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks for the comment, SuZan. I’m glad you understand.
I’m rejoicing at the evidence of hope’s triumph in your life!
Thanks, Jane. Hope always brings encouragement.
Oh Rebecca – I love this!!
Thanks, Evie – I appreciate the comment !
wonderful Thanks!
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thanks, Bea – I appreciate your comment.
I love your post. I think butterflys are sometimes angels in disguise.
Me, too, Judith. I can imagine heaven’s gardens will be filled with them.
I always love this story. Caleb is so dear. I received encouragement via my wonderful husband: even though I can’t participate in my grandchildren’s activities much of the time due to illness, my love and my prayers make a difference in their lives.
Absolutely true! And … you are one of my favorite encouragers.