The friend request made it through my Facebook filter, so I thought…okay, I’ll confirm this person. Maybe he wants to know about my latest book.
Click. Accept. Then came his first post, “You are so-o-o beautiful.”
GAG!
Facebook didn’t allow me enough space to reply, so I decided to vent on this week’s blog post and maybe teach this guy something valuable.
His statement was obviously a response about my profile headshot which I attribute to a gifted photographer and a makeup artist. It is placed on my Facebook page to help promote my books and build my brand, but it is not a reflection of how I ascertain beauty.
In fact, I believe the most beautiful women are those with an inner glow that comes from an eternal source.
A chorus from my high school years explains this type of beauty:
“Let the beauty of Jesus be seen in me
All His wonderful passion and purity
Oh, thou Savior divine
All my nature refine
Till the beauty of Jesus be seen in me.”
This type of inner beauty cannot be determined by a profile picture. It has to be matured and nurtured throughout the years, often through difficult trials and a commitment to grow faith in spite of turmoil.
In today’s world, temporary beauty is identified by celebrity status, the perfect hairdo and the size four dress. Yet women know lasting beauty involves utilizing our gifts, developing self-confidence and using our voices to speak our truth.
Whether we’re stay-at-home moms or CEO’s in top corporations, beauty is determined more by WHO we are rather than how we look.
And that is the beauty that lasts.
What this Facebook guy doesn’t know is that I am happiest in my jammies with no makeup, working on my next book. My second happiest place is outside, with my hands in the dirt and sweat dripping off my nose, planting next season’s flowers and dreaming about how my gardens will thrive.
Beauty for me is reflected in the fresh dewdrop on a red rose, the turquoise and coral swirls of a sunset or the trouble-free sparkle in a newborn’s eyes. True beauty has nothing to do with the outer visage we show each other.
To experience someone’s true beauty, we must be vulnerable enough to really see them, hear them and understand the core of their being. We must reach beyond our opinions and accept the soul’s inner space, to search for that place that defines personality, heart desire and the passion of chasing our dreams.
For men who try to use pickup lines to invite relationship, I remind them words are empty. Women of beauty seek men of honor – guys who don’t rate women on a 1-10 scale or call them nasty if they disagree about a particular topic.
Women want men who are trustworthy, whose behavior mirrors their words – men who remain honorable throughout the years, men who aren’t afraid to cheer for women when they lead or make more money, men who truly listen when a woman speaks her heart.
Hope expands when women are accepted for the beauty God has placed within them – not the cultural norms printed on magazine covers and photoshopped to attain a certain luster.
True beauty begins inside the soul and no matter what happens in the aging process – that type of beauty cannot be destroyed.
So…to the Facebook “friend” who somehow thought I would be impressed with his overused and tired pick up line, I have a simple response to his feeble attempt to connect….
“Delete.”
©2017 RJ Thesman, Author of “Sometimes They Forget” and the Reverend G Trilogy
Oops for him. If he was using a pick-up line he stumbled on the wrong woman. If he was genuinely interested in you, we say: Poor guy. He’s probably wondering, ‘So what DO I say to a woman?’ Hmmm. Sounds like a potential blog post.
Yep. Could do all kinds of things with the idea … maybe educate the masses !