Every year, as I struggle to survive February, I look forward to March Madness. Then for several weeks, I indulge in TV watching, cheering for my teams and yelling at double the volume.
In 2020, the basketball authorities cancelled March Madness to protect everyone from COVID-19. This year, I was ready.
Like the Uber Eats commercial, “I didn’t get my madness last year, so I needed double the madness.”
March Madness provides the perfect emotional release, adrenalin rush and just downright fun. As I settle in for a game, I announce to the cat, “There will be yelling.”
The cat leaves the room.
Yelling does not include curse words — at least not the usual ones. I was, after all, raised to act like a lady — except during March Madness.
My yelling might call out the refs. “Didn’t you see that? The kid’s head is bleeding. Don’t you think that means a foul? FOR CRYIN’ OUT LOUD!”
“A charge? SERIOUSLY? The defense was not set.”
“Give him a Tee. COME ON!”
I do not yell without credible knowledge. My dad was a triathlete, including top scorer at Phillips University. Our family was definitely into all the sports seasons. And I played basketball in grade school and high school — until the unfortunate knee incident.
I went up for a rebound, and a monster from the other team broadsided me. My body went north, but my knee went east. Those were the days before knee surgeries unless you were a top athlete headed to the NBA.
I was not. I wore an ugly brace for several weeks which did nothing for my social life.
When I taught middle school, the principal “volunteered” me to be a ref for a few games. It is not an easy job. Especially with a whistle in your mouth while breathing hard and running up and down the court.
However, with my experience I do know the difference between a charge and a foul. DEAR GUSSY, REF. GET IT RIGHT!
Usually I yell at the refs or the coaches, “Call time out, Coach. NOW!”
But I also yell at the players when they miss free throws. My dad used to say, “There is no excuse for missing a free throw.” He was right.
You have a clean shot. No one is guarding you. It’s only fifteen feet. NOT AN NBA THREE!
When they miss, I yell, “FREE THROW, FOR PETE’S SAKE!” Sometimes I stand directly in front of the TV — as if they could hear me.
Games are won or lost because of free throws. The best way to beat the pressure is to make the STUPID FREE THROW!
When my son was a teen, we competed with our brackets. The winner got a pizza. Now he’s grown and busy with his life, so I compete with myself. I fill out the bracket after each game. That way, I always win.
After March Madness, I always feel better. No matter who wins. The release valve of yelling works. I highly recommend it.
This has not been a good year for my teams. The Chiefs bombed out in the Super Bowl. The Jayhawks, proteges of James Naismith himself, could not manage to get the ball in the peach basket. FOR CRYIN’ OUT LOUD!
But there is hope. Let’s go, Royals!
There will be yelling.
©2021 RJ Thesman – All Rights Reserved
Check out the books on my Amazon Author Page. No yelling in any of them.
I read this out loud to Jon this morning and we had a good laugh. He’s a March Madness yeller too, but I think your version of yelling is a bit more creative. DEAR GUSSY, WHAT A GOOD LAUGH!
Thanks, Jane – kind of a departure for me but every word is true.
a hilarious, soul-lifting read. Thanks, Rebecca. I’m writing with more hope because of it!
Good to know, Jerry! You’re a good writer – keep up the pace.
Fun read. Maybe my dog and I should come for a visit next year. My dog could hide with your cat. They could keep each other company.
Sounds like a plan! Always a fun day when Mellie is around. Thanks, SuZan.