Finding Our Being

Recently, a friend stepped into eternity. At his memorial service, the eulogy ended with, “Well done. Good and faithful servant.”

Although I agreed with that sentiment — I struggle with the root of what that subject really means. Life and Bible study have taught me how legalism can rear its ugly head, even at a memorial service. Even in the bravest and best of God’s servants.

That ‘well done’ phrase comes from the Parable of the Talents recorded in Matthew 25. Three servants who were given a task to perform. Two of them did well and multiplied their gifts. One guy simply hid. A great lesson from the greatest Rabbi to ever walk the earth.

We all want to be told, “You’ve done well. You’ve worked hard, and you’ve impacted others. You have completed your tasks, therefore you will get many rewards.”

Again, all positive statements — until we get out of balance.

In the early years — we’re talking junior high and high school — I was big into the “doings” of service: helping at church, singing in the choir, playing the piano at the nursing home, taking care of my siblings, being active in youth group, serving in volunteer events in the community. All while maintaining my grade average, piano competitions, and participating in sports events.

My motivation came from a Type A personality, but also was shadowed by my legalistic background. Work hard to keep God happy. Grace has to partner with works or you’re not really a Christian. In the doing of my faith, I soon lost myself in meeting the needs of others. While the works were good things and probably did help others, the result was often a cry from my barren soul. Of course, I could only share my truth in the privacy of my journals. I longed to hear “Well done,” believing somehow that God’s acceptance and the approval of people would somehow fill that empty and exhausted place within.

Although helping others was still a daily goal, somewhere along the line I needed people to love me for WHO I was rather than for WHAT I could give them.

Years later as I learned more about setting boundaries and intimacy with God, I realized how good works could be motivated out of love. My love for God morphing into a love for people and the passion for helping them. Giving myself grace just as often as giving it to others.

I can still live from the principle of the two greatest commandments: love God and love others. But now I embrace that one of those ‘others’ is me. The ‘doing’ has become secondary to the ‘being.’ Respecting who God created me to be.

Because I have learned to let go of the ‘works’ mentality, the impact of what I do is greater. Now it comes authentically from the heart of God rather than the from ethic of work or the bondage of legalism. No more ‘doing’ for the sake of approval or acceptance. Lots more ‘being’ and finding joy in the every day.

Waiting to hear “Well done” is not as important as it once was. And I have learned that saying “No” can be just as blessed as a half-hearted “Yes.” When I get to heaven, I don’t care if crowns are presented to me or accolades given for what I have done. Instead, I just want an eternity-long hug from God and his voice in my ear saying, “I love you.”

©2026 RJ Thesman – All Rights Reserved

Image Attribution: mleonascimento0 / Pixabay

Discover Ruthie’s story and how she learned to live in grace: Seeking the Land of Grace.