My son is sick, and I am afraid.
Because he is a cancer survivor (eight years, bless God!), when something happens that interrupts that heart relief of his healing – my soul fears.
Last week, he was disoriented. He couldn’t drive, couldn’t write his name, had trouble putting words together to make a sentence.
The honest prayer of Reverend G poured from me, “Oh God oh God oh God. I can’t stand it.”
We scheduled an appointment with the neurologist who ordered the usual lab work and then an MRI.
The night before the imaging test, I woke up every two and a half hours to check on Caleb – to tiptoe into his bedroom, touch his forehead, check his breathing.
Every two and a half hours – the same amount of time that he woke me up for feedings when he was a baby. Now, 29 years later, my mommy heart somehow answered an internal alarm to check on my grown child.
Every time I returned to bed, I fell to my knees to beg God, “Please! Will you take my last living child? You already have my first two babies. Please, please, save my son!”
My prayers became whimpers of pleading along with the recitations of verses to remind God of his promises:
“No weapon used against us will prosper. No weapon, God. Please.”
“God delivers us from all our fears. Deliver us, oh God.”
“Peace I leave with you. Peace I give unto you. Your beloved peace, I beg of you.”
Then the morning sky, the day of the MRI, that metal machine surrounding my son’s body, imprinting its pictures on the radiologic screen – answers that will bring relief or sorrow.
Oh God oh God oh God. I can’t stand it.
Then the waiting. They read the results. Fax them to the doctor. Contact my son. He texts me.
No tumor. No reoccurrence.
Oh God oh God oh God. I thank you.
But then a reminder of other mothers who will receive bad news this day. Some will not thank God but fall to their knees in grief, stand before a coffin and place flowers on a grave.
Oh God – deliver us from the ravages of death. Come, Lord Jesus.
We still have no answers for this attack on Caleb’s body. More doctors. More tests.
But in the process, hope revives. We will deal with whatever it is and thrust our fear-filled hearts toward the only One who knows the answers.
Hope still survives.
©2015 RJ Thesman – Author of the Reverend G Books http://www.crossrivermedia.com/portfolio/1624/gallery/fiction/
Oh, Rebecca. It hurts my mommy heart. I will be praying for you and Caleb! Iâm so sorry.
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Thank you, Jen. We need wisdom to know what to do. Blessings on you and yours!
Rebecca, I know your fears and hopes. I, too, lean on the Lord in prayer for you & Caleb, for my loved ones. Be steadfast in Him.
Thank you, Melinda. Trusting in the Lord is the best we can do and yes – remaining steadfast in prayer.
Hi Rebecca,I’m very sorry to hear that your son is not good recently. My wife Zhaohui and me will pray continuously for your son and you for God’s merciful healing. Please let us know if you need us to do anything for you. Blessings, Nan
Date: Tue, 15 Sep 2015 10:08:00 +0000 To: firstname.lastname@example.org
Thank you so much, Nan. Prayers are the very best help.
Continuing to pray for wisdom and healing, in Jesus’ name.
Thank you, Shanna! Appreciate your faithfulness in prayer.
Praying the doctors will find out what’s going on with your son soon and he’ll have a quick recovery.
Thank you, Anne. I agree!
Thank you for that post. It struck a chord, a fellowship of suffering. Prayed for you and Caleb today.
Thank you for your prayers, Sylvia, and for your empathy in the suffering. Somehow … may the glory go to God.
So sorry to hear about Caleb’s health struggle. A sick child is one of my biggest “mom fears,” but I love the verses you provide to fight off those fears. Hope always survives!
Thank you, Sara. Appreciate your prayers!
Praying for the God of hope to fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13
Thank you, Cindy – a wonderful verse! We are still searching for answers, but some things are becoming more clear. Hopefully, we’ll have the answer soon and restoration will begin.