Hope Mourns the Sparrow

One of the joys of my life arrives every morning when I feed the birds.

I am praying my new place will include a small back yard where I can pour out the seed, call to the birds and watch these amazing creatures float toward me.Jesus Calling - Sept 1

But last week, we had a surprise visitor. A huge hawk swooped down, rapidly chose his prey and killed one of my sparrows. With sharp talons, he easily lifted his breakfast from my deck, then disappeared in the early morning fog.

Most of the time, we don’t pay attention to sparrows. We are attracted to the flashy cardinals, the sweet chickadees and even the raucous blue jays with their blue and silver details.

Sparrows are just the extra birds that fly near us, their plain brown feathers almost an invisible blend on weathered decks. Perhaps an afterthought in the creator’s mind, the bird with which to compare all the others.

Sparrows don’t seem to matter much. Unless you’re one of them.

During this transition time, I empathize with the sparrow. I feel as if the flashy authors of the world have passed me by, and I am trying to catch up.

Other ministers and writers have spent years honing their careers while I stayed in the background, worked in administrative roles, quietly pointed the mouse and clicked on Excel charts.

Others developed speaking ministries, world-wide podcasts and reams of manuscripts while I worked three jobs to raise my son and try to survive.

“Bless me, too, my Father,” is often the cry of my heart.

Now…during this time of the unknowns, I feel even more sparrow-ish than before. My own drab browning pales in comparison with those who seem to have it so easy.

Yes, I know this sounds like whining. But I struggle between authenticity, the brutal honesty of the heart and a complaining spirit. I wish I knew the difference.

I want to see my own dreams come to pass even as I know the desires of my heart may not necessarily sync with the whispers of the divine.

Predators of discouragement and fear stalk me. So quickly, they sharpen their talons and wait for my most vulnerable moments to swoop in and destroy hope.

Yet some days – praise God – more days than not – I remember how God cares for even the sparrow.

Not one of us falls without his knowledge and empathic tears. Each of us, though feeling drab, are still painted with his art – each feather delicate in his design.

I replay a favorite hymn, grateful for the internet and the YouTube software that makes it easily accessible.

His eye indeed on this sparrow. My heart secure in the knowing that he cares for me.

Sparrows of the past are still mourned. Each one a creation missed, a relationship betrayed, an opportunity denied.

Yet the One who created them in the first place still exists and promises an even better life to come.

Here’s to all of us sparrows in the world. We occupy important spaces in the universe, each of us here for a purpose – for a time.

May we embrace our lives for what they represent, a glorious praise for the presence of each day and a supreme hope for a better tomorrow.

©2016 RJ Thesman – Author of the Reverend G books http://amzn.to/1rXlCyh

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12 thoughts on “Hope Mourns the Sparrow

  1. This is one of your more beautifully written pieces: word choices, analogies, etc. Yes, we little sparrows all hope for our moment in the sunshine, make that Son shine. Smile. We’ve struggled with a Cooper’s Hawk several times in the past. He/she’s tried to turn our bird feeder into a Hawk feeder. Ugh!

  2. Hi, Rebecca. This email is now being accessed by a leadership team. I’m trying to streamline what they receive. Can you please take this email off of your distribution list? Thank you!

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  3. I think you may recall “LBJ.” An important person who did good stuff in our world! Ken and I were taught to call those little brown birds “LBJ’s” for little brown jobs. We little brown jobs are quite important and we contribute good stuff to our world. I am proud to be a LBJ.

  4. That hymn is a favorite of mine, too.
    Rebecca, I have never considered you a sparrow. You show your bright plumage in the written word for all who care to discover it. May you battle your enemy, Discouragement, with renewed vigor, knowing that you are under God’s protection.

  5. I can’t imagine my word without sparrows. Though not flashy, they are a constant, a comfort that has remained as I have moved from place to place. So good to know that God watches over each one of them, and each one of us.

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