He was young and bright – this college student who wanted to pursue creative writing. We met at a local coffee shop, two creatives sharing a gift – though decades apart in age.
The hazelnut blend he drank mellowed the atmosphere while I played with the tail end of my English Breakfast tea bag.
He took copious notes of statements I have made hundreds of times with coaching clients:
- Writing breeds more writing skill, so write every day.
- Submit a manuscript to a magazine each week.
- Frontload the week – plan your more creative work on Mondays and Tuesdays.
- Be consistent with marketing. Whatever platform you use – consistency is the key.
- Get involved with writers groups. Be in a critique group or have a writing partner.
And of course my pitch, “Hire a writing coach to help you be accountable. I currently have openings.”
I had asked him to bring some of his work and he pulled out a well-worn journal. I knew by the way he touched it, dared to hand it to me – these were words dear to his heart. He was trusting me with his very soul.
He seemed surprised when I praised him for the way he used conflict, the turn of a phrase that did not include a cliché, a-ha moments unique to his voice.
Like all of us, he needed encouragement and a slight push forward to realize the beginning of his writing dreams.
“I don’t mean to offend you,” he said with a polite nod, “but I know my writing asks lots of questions. I know you’re a Christian. I hope that’s okay…you know…that I ask the hard questions.”
For a moment, I wavered between needing to cry and wanting to scream. What have we done to these talented millenials? How did they get the idea that we know all the answers – that it is wrong to ask questions about faith and life?
“I ask questions, too,” I said and watched him visibly relax. “I used to be a black and white Christian where I thought I knew all the answers, because I had been force-fed what I SHOULD believe. Then life happened and those answers weren’t enough.”
I described some of the difficulties I have lived through and how God has been patient as I worked through them – how God hasn’t been afraid to listen to me. I reminded him that some of the greatest saints who ever lived asked hard questions. King David. Moses.
Even Jesus while he was being tortured asked the “Why?” question.
How sad it is that Christendom has thrust itself past these seeking and questioning young adults!
They see us with placards on the evening news, going way beyond the freedom of speech and into the bully pulpit of the streets. They read about how we label and exclude their friends who have chosen an alternative lifestyle. They grieve as we condemn their single moms.
They cannot hear the truth about God because we are so busy screaming at them to perform righteously. We expect them to live by our rules before they ever meet the One who loves them in spite of the rules.
Legalism was never the brand of Jesus.
No wonder they can’t find the God of love when we, His beloved children push them away. Our self-righteousness denies their questions, the very source of how they seek for truth.
In “The Listening Life,” author Adam McHugh writes, “My calling is not the answers but the questions I bring to the world.”
The German poet Rainer Maria Rilke once said, “Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves…do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them.”
To live the answers of life, we must first ask the hard questions. And to accept others with the love of Christ, we must allow them to ask those same difficult questions.
When we stop asking questions, we putrify in the sewage of our own belief systems. Then we program others to believe the same so that we will feel safe within our acceptable righteousness.
We find hope only when we step out of the comfortable morays and seek deeper meanings for our faith. That is when we discover how broad and wide and deep and high is the grace and love of God.
This young man – God love him – is seeking a place for his creative mind to grow. He is also seeking to be accepted as he is – not programmed into a hard wooden pew where his soul will stagnate.
I so hope he finds his way to the truth.
©2017 RJ Thesman, Author of “Sometimes They Forget” the Reverend G Trilogy and “Setting & Reaching Your Writing Goals.”
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Timely. Convicting, yet Hope-laced. Thank you, Rebecca. Ironic how Truth hurts and Truth frees.
Thanks, Jerry. Yes, the best questions often do both.
Being in ministry never stops. Even as you coach writing you minister with necessary words of comfort.
Thanks, Ginger – for your affirmation and encouragement. Love you!