Pundits in the news media these days are writing and speaking about revenge. Enacting punishment on certain political opponents. Multiple lawsuits. And expressing the viciousness contained in social media posts.
Yet for people who call themselves Jesus-followers, revenge should never be one of our labels. Instead, we are called to forgive. To step through the door of ‘loving each other’ by emotionally and spiritually pardoning one another.
But how does that work when we have been severely wronged? In order to forgive, we first have to feel our pain and grieve it in healthy ways. We have to realize the problem is not just about our personal suffering, but also in how we perceive what has been done to us. And who did it. Broken people will often try to break others.
Sometimes we have to forgive ourselves. Sometimes we even have to forgive God for allowing such pain into our lives.
But as long as we live within the bitterness of refusing to forgive, peace stalls and with it, the energy to move toward loving our neighbors. We become stuck in whatever action caused the pain. We relive it and each time we pick up that grudge, we carry a heavier burden. We become victims rather than victors. That ugliness inside eventually seeps into our souls and even affects our physical health. We can, literally, kill ourselves with bitterness and hatred.
The news reports remind us how far we have to go to find true acceptance of each other and peace in our land. America suffers from the grief of lost lives, damaged reputations, and questions about injustice. It is a blight on our land and an attack against the very soul of a country that was founded on diverse demographics and the freedom to express our beliefs without vengeance.
It is easy to allow our pain to gnaw through the goodness God has granted us — to refuse to show grace to each other. One side of my family tree is decorated with Cherokee warriors who were forced to march from North Carolina to Oklahoma (Indian territory at the time). Thousands of men, women, and children died along the Trail of Tears. The tragedy was so intense, even some of the soldiers ordered to carry out this debauchery wept.
Yet the Native Americans still thrive as a people, proud of their heritage, artistic in their pursuits, and determined to seek a better livelihood for their children. It has taken several generations of honest confrontations, better laws, and yes — even some national apologies to make peace happen. Many of these beautiful people from the Sooner State have learned how to forgive the past and move into a place of mutual respect with those who stole their land.
The United States committed other debaucheries throughout the years. Imprisoning Japanese Americans who had no knowledge or influence in bombing Pearl Harbor. Yet because of fear and the desire for revenge, multiple families suffered disgrace, the loss of their homes and businesses, and the necessity of raising their children without proper schooling or even the decency of a warm home.
Once again, we are imprisoning people who have done no wrong except wanting to live in freedom. Some of the people incarcerated in detention centers are actually American citizens. They were just not allowed to show their papers. Some of them were in the process of becoming citizens, detained and arrested at the courthouse before their cases could be heard. Over 50 have died. Once again, children and families affected by the cloud of fear. Once again, the truth twisted to satisfy those who live within the stronghold of vengeance.
Even Jesus-followers who once worshipped together castigate one another from the ‘safety’ of social media. Imagining that their outrage is anonymous. How will we someday forgive each other for the anger we have let soak into our congregations? Will we be able to speak apologies and give each other the same grace Jesus died to offer us?
We all make mistakes. We stumble and fail. We disappoint God and ourselves and yes — sometimes we make life-changing errors. But somewhere in the road back to sanity, we have to find a way to learn from the experience and not do it again.
I believe one of the stepping stones in that road is labeled ‘forgiveness.’ I wish we would give it a try.
©2026 RJ Thesman – All Rights Reserved
Image Attribution: BenteBoe / Pixabay
Ruthie had to learn forgiveness in Seeking the Land of Grace. Check out her story and consider the freedom contained in grace.